Never Have We Ever
by ConfusionxOr-Not
Summary: It's raining at Hogwarts, and even magical boys get bored sometimes, so why not play a muggle game? Even the mischievous Marauders can't get in trouble with that, right?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: It's raining at Hogwarts, and even magical boys get bored sometimes, so why not play a muggle game?

Originally this was script for something my friends and I were going to do, but the project didn't work out, and I changed the ending :) Fufufufu

WARNING: references to boyXboy romance~! Don't like? Then why are you looking at my work? PSH. (fangirl spasm)

Unbeta-ed so it's prolly full of FAIL.

Harry Potter and all its characters belong to JK Rowling, who is secretly GOD. I own NOTHING (cries in emo corner).

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><p>Sirius: Prooooooooonnnggggggs, Moooooooooooooooooooooooonnny, I'm boooooooored!<p>

Remus: Yes Sirius, thank you for sharing.

Sirius: Let's play a game or something!

James: What kind of game? Exploding snaps? Wizard chess? We can't play quidditch, it's raining out.

Sirius: Ugh, we've done all those a million times! I want to do something neeeeeeew!

Remus: Well, we could… no, never mind.

James: What is it Moony?

Remus: Well, I know some muggle games... but….

Sirius: We don't have any muggle game pieces Moony!

Remus: These aren't game board games or card games, these are spoken games.

James and Sirius: Spoken games?

Remus: Games you speak you morons.

Sirius: We've got that, thanks for thinking so highly of our intelligence Moony!

James: Yeah, we may not be prefects like you, but we aren't idiots!

Remus: Look, do you want to hear it or not?

Peter: I-I'd like to hear it…

Remus: Thank you Peter.

James and Sirius: Suuuck uuuup!

Remus: Shut up Morons. Um…let's see… How about we play...Never Have I Ever?

James and Sirius: OOoooOOOoo!

Sirius: That sounds fun!

James: How do we play?

Remus: Well, muggles usually play with their hands, but we can use magic marks if you guys want. Your arm falls asleep after awhile…

Sirius: Hmmm… this game almost sounds dirty…

Remus: Well, it can be, and with perverts like you, it probably will be…

Sirius: Heh, I think I like this game already! Clever muggles!

Remus: Siigh, look, here's the deal, you get ten marks, one per finger, and we go around in a circle, each saying a never have I ever.

James: Wait, what is a never have I ever?

Remus: Well, it's something you've never done. For example, Never Have I ever transformed into a blood thirsty beast on the full moon.

Sirius: ...But you have done that.

Remus: Well, that is something you guys could say. And I would put one of my fingers down, or lose a mark. The person with the most marks or fingers at the end of it all wins, and when you lose all ten marks, you're out.

James: Sounds simple enough!

Remus: Hm, think you can handle it?

Sirius: I know I can! What about you Wormtail?

Peter: I- I can do it! I'm sure!

Remus: Alright, since I'm the only one who knows how to play, I'll start, and we'll go to Prongs next, then Padfoot, then Wormtail, alright?

James and Sirius: Kay!

Remus: Let's see… Never have I ever… failed a test.

James: Oh dammit…

Peter: Shoot…

Sirius: Ha! That's what you get for stalking Evans instead of studying Prongs!

James: Alright, my turn! Never have I ever… kissed a bloke!

Remus: Does being kissed count?

James: MOONY!

Sirius: What- WHO ASSAULTED YOU MOONY?

Remus: NO ONE ASSAULTED ME! Godric, it was a Ravenclaw who had a crush on me and got a little forward, that's all! Merlin's pants, I can take care of myself you know?

Sirius: Alright, but if he EVER bugs you again-

James: I say it still counts. Hey Padfoot, did you lose a mark?

Sirius: AH! Uh, well, you know…

James: Geeze, I knew you fancied blokes, but I never thought-!

Sirius: Godric's sword, it was a onetime thing! Just to see if it was better than kissing a girl!

Remus: Uh-oh, I forgot…

Peter: Forgot what?

Remus: People usually learn A LOT about each other during this game… it's a good thing you all already know I'm a werewolf…

Peter: You could just lie, right?

Remus: NO! No way! Playing this game is like drinking a bottle of veritaserum! You have to tell the truth!

James: Seriously?

Remus: Yes! That's how it is with all muggle games; you HAVE to tell the truth!

Sirius: Well, it's my turn now, right?

James: Uuuhh, yes!

Sirius: Okay, never have I ever… fallen off a broom!

Peter: Awww man!

James: Ha, only you Wormtail!

Peter: Agh! Uhm, never have I ever kissed a girl!

Sirius: Ugh, there goes one of my points…

James: Mine too…

Sirius: What, did you corner Evans under some mistletoe?

James: Hey, one day I'll marry Lily, and I LOVE her, but it doesn't hurt to play the field a little!

Remus: Siigh, such double standards…

James: What do you mean?

Remus: If Lily kissed a guy who wasn't you…

James: I'D HUNT HIM DOWN AND KILL HIM!

Remus: See; double standards.

Sirius: Wait, Moony, you didn't lose a point… You've NEVER kissed a girl!

Remus: Unlike you two, I have control over my hormones, and my furry little problem doesn't exactly leave me open to many dating possibilities.

Sirius: But, you've NEVER kissed a girl!

Remus: Okay, okay, I think we've established that! Moving on! Never have I ever been referred to as "Demon spawn" by a teacher or faculty member.

Sirius: Awww, no fair Moony! You know that's the rest of us!

Remus: Yes, well, tough. Oh, you too Peter?

Peter: Filtch…

James: That man is a menace. My turn! Never have I ever turned into a canine!

Sirius: Pf, jerk.

Remus: Sigh…

Sirius: Hey, you're still wining Moony. No sighing for you! Never have I ever wanked to the thought of Lilly Evans!

Remus: EEW! Sirius! That's vulgar- JAMES!

James: WHAT? It's normal! I'm going to marry her someday! Merlin's pants!

Sirius: !

James: OOH, just you wait Padfoot! Wormtail, go!

Peter: Never have I ever been taller than 4'9"…

Sirius: Dam you're short…

James: Godric, another point! Not helpful Wormtail!

Remus: Geeze… Never have I ever stolen from Honeydukes.

James and Peter: WORMTAIL!

Remus: Tsk Peter! I suspected as much!

Peter: Wha-ah-it was an accident! Sorta! I didn't really mean to!

James: Never have I ever been attacked by Mrs. Norris!

Peter: Aw shoot…

Sirius: Never have I ever gotten caught in a mousetrap!

Peter: C'mon guys! Never have I ever gotten more than 5 detentions in one week!

Sirius: Pft, hey, 10 detentions in one week is a personal record!

James: Yeah, we are PROUD of this!

Remus: You're all a bunch of idiots. Never have I ever gotten lower than a 99 on a test.

Sirius: Dammit!

James: Sorry we ALL can't be perfect Moony.

Peter: Aww… I never get even close to 99's…

James: Never have I ever crushed on a bloke.

Sirius: Oh now you're just fishing Prongs-MOONY?

Remus: Shut UP Padfoot.

James: Woooah Moony, like that Ravenclaw more than we thought?

Remus: Of course not! Just shut up James!

Sirius: Who is it Moony?

Remus: None of your business!

Sirius: Oh! So you're crushing on some bloke right NOW?

Remus: Sirius Black, if you don't move off of this subject right now so help me I will NEVER let you see one of my potions essays EVER again!

Sirius: Alright, Alright! Merlin's beard someone is touchy!

Remus: Padfoot…

Sirius: Okay I'm going! Never have I ever flirted with Lily Evans!

James: Oh, go for the obvious why don't yo-WORMTAIL!

Peter: Once! She didn't even realize it! It was before I met you all! I'm sorry, don't kill me!

Remus: Peter!

Sirius: That is LOOOW! James made it obvious from minute one that he liked Lily!

Peter: I'm sorry okay? Never have I ever had a short tail!

James: Oh you did NOT go there! Avenge me Moony!

Remus: Well... never have I ever had an irrational fear of cats.

Peter: Moony!

James: Never have I ever hit on the girl my mate likes!

Peter: Aw man, I'm out…

Sirius: Serves you right! You broke the code!

Peter: What code?

James: The Marauders' code! We never go after the girl, or in Moony and Padfoot's cases, the bloke that out mate and fellow marauder likes!

Peter: I'm sorry James! It was a onetime thing!

James: Yeah, it had better have been.

Sirius: Never have I ever had to wear glasses.

James: Aw, Padfoot! I thought you were on my side!

Remus: Doesn't matter to me, I still have five points left after this.

James: You wear glasses?

Remus: I used to, for reading. I had very poor eyesight before…you know.

James: Ah, I see. Well, I'll leave the rest of the game to you two, because I have a rat to catch!

Peter: EEP! DON'T KILL ME JAMES! I SAID I WAS SORRY!

James: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD! ARE YOU A MOUSE OR A MAN!

Peter: AAAAAAAHHHHH!

Sirius: Heh, lookit 'em go!

Remus: Oh Godric, let's not have another incident…

Sirius: Well, it's your turn Moony, and it's just the two of us, so ask away.

Remus: It's not really ask, more like state.

Sirius: We both know that this game is all about questions Moony. Shoot.

Remus: Fine… never have I ever …h..d..s..

Sirius: What was that Moony?

Remus: Sigh, never have I ever had sex.

Sirius: Good, neither have I.

Remus: I'll admit to being surprised at your abstinence Padfoot.

Sirius: Heh, never have I ever had a crush on a bloke with dark hair.

Remus: ….. Now who's fishing…

Sirius: You could have lied.

Remus: Like I said; it's like drinking veritaserum. Lying spoils the entire game.

Sirius: Hm. Your go.

Remus: Never have I ever missed a deadline.

Sirius: For schoolwork?

Remus: For anything.

Sirius: Ha, good to know that you're so punctual moony. I on the other hand, am not as perfect.

Remus: Heh, that doesn't surprise me.

Sirius: Let's see... my turn… hmm… ne-no wait, I've done that so I can't ask… Hmm… Gee, this is harder than it was earlier…

Remus: Well, now you seem like you want to find out something specific. You just have to word it right.

Sirius: Hmm… let's see… Well, have you… I mean, Never have I ever liked anyone who's last name was Black.

Remus: W-well of course I lose a point on that.

Sirius: R-REALLY?

Remus: D-duh, we-we're friends aren't we?

Sirius: Wait-what?

Remus: Ha, really Sirius, with your huge ego, you'd never think that you had such insecurity issues!

Sirius: No, that's not what I meant!

Remus: What?

Sirius: I meant LIKE like. Like, have a crush, be in love with, that sort of thing…

Remus: Wha-Sir-Pad-I-

Sirius: M-Moony! Where are you- MOONY!

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><p>AAA-DRAMATIC CLIFF HANGER! Ha, not really since I'm gonna upload the second half in like, two minutes, but those first two minutes are gonna be REALLY CLIFF-HANGER-ISH!<p>

...I fail as a villain.

~Seo


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter TWO. Told ya it wasn't much of a cliff hanger...

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><p>Remus ran off, his face tinted pink. <em>HOW could Sirius ask that kind of question?<em> The boy in question stared after him, confused. "Remus, wait!" The werewolf almost did; it was so rare that Sirius called him by his actual name, but he was too dam embarrassed! He flew down the stairs to the Griffindor common room, and was lucky enough to be able to push past the third years who had just come in and squeeze threw the portal right before the painting swung shut. He gasped for air outside with the Fat Lady giving him a dirty look, before he took off at top speed towards his secret place.

Sirius had, instead of chasing his spooked wolf, rummaged through James' trunk until he found a seemingly harmless piece of parchment. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" the map sprung to life and he automatically spotted Remus' name, pause in front of the common room. He got up, his nose buried in the map, as he watched Remus sprint towards one of the more abandoned wings of the castle. He dove back into James' trunk and pulled out the invisibility cloak, felling like he might need it. He slipped it on and stuffed the map down the front of his shirt. It was time to go werewolf hunting.

Remus slammed the tower door shut and cast a silencing charm over the room. He came here often and usually ended up either crying, screaming, or talking to himself. Either way, silencing charms were essential. He collapsed onto the bed that took up most of the room and stared out the giant windows. They went from floor to ceiling and he knew for a fact that they were created by magic and not really part of the building, since he had check from the outside. The bed was ginormous and fluffy; he practically sunk into it. Spells and the house elves obsessive cleaning had kept everything in the room in perfect shape, and since the clever creatures had noticed Remus hiding in there, they'd changed the colors from Ravenclaw's blue and bronze to Griffindor's red and gold. He sighed and hid his face in a pillow.

"Idiot, just run off yeah? That's a great idea, that won't make him suspicious! Tell them how much you abide by the muggle rules and of course they're gonna turn it against you! He probably noticed months ago! I mean, you're terrible at hiding it after all, even Lily Evans asked you about your sexuality because she suspected.. well, she's a girl so I guess she doesn't count since boys are more dense and I love with the densest ones in the world, but still! Obviously he got some weird vibes form you and wanted to get the facts straight! Of course you play it off like you're stupid and naive, but when he out right-! AGH! WHY does he have to be so utterly and devastatingly Godric-dammed SEXY?"

Of course, since this was all mumbled and yelled into a pillow, to the casual observer it sounded like "..," but the boy who had just snuck inside the room wasn't just any observer, and certainly wasn't just _any_ boy to be able to get past the werewolf's sensitive hearing and smell.

Sirius held his breathe and tried not to make any noise, praying that his silencing and anti-smell charms were holding out. The last was a special spell he had looked up specifically for Remus, mainly so that he could spy on him in the showers without the cute prefect-to-be noticing, but that's beside the point. Remus was lying across a bed, his head stuffed into a pillow, muttering gibberish into it, and Sirius could pick out occasional words, such as "dense", "love", and "stupid, but the last sentence was practically screamed so he got all of "Why does he have to be so utterly and devastatingly Godric-dammed sexy!" loud and clear. He felt himself turning pink at the words and smirked. He liked that his hunch was right, and liked even more that Remus was returning the feelings that he felt for him. Suddenly the werewolf sat up and the animagus froze, wondering if he'd given himself away.

"Twenty-five," Remus muttered to himself, his hands suddenly flitting all over his body, like he was counting something. "Twenty-five and a half counting the paper cut from this morning. Disgustingly hideous. All of them. That's why he'd want to chase me off and rightly so." He got up and paced by the window. "One hundred and fifteen lbs, extremely unhealthy for a boy my age and height. Sickeningly skinny. And boney, barely any muscle on me at all, and what IS there is mostly _its' _fault." He stopped the pacing and looked at his reflection in the not-glass. The rain was pouring down, but it only sounded like light tapping since the windows weren't really there. "Poor as a church mouse and wearing baggy clothes that certainly don't fit as they should. And look at those rings under my eyes! Ugh, when did those get there?" he shook his head. "Obvious obvious obvious. And yet…"

Sirius got it now; Moony was doing what he always did, berate his physical appearance. _Because of ME? He thinks he's not good enough? He really doesn't know how adorable he is!_ Sirius was considering speaking up when Remus took out his wand. He cast a muttered spell and suddenly Sirius was standing in front of him. Or rather, he was looking at himself standing in front of Remus. It was an illusion, a perfect replica of Sirius, right down to his smirk and his slightly slouched posture. Remus stared at the illusion for a moment, thoughts obviously racing through his head, and then flicked his wand, making it disappear. "Not good," he whispered, his hand resting lightly over his heart. "Still happens, even when it's an illusion." He turned around and stared out the window. Sirius decided that this was enough spying for one day, and turned around and slipped out the door. He took off the cloak and stuffed it into his pockets with the map. Then he took a deep breath and turned back to the door.

Remus took out his wand and started tapping musical notes out in the air. Being a werewolf had increased his appreciation for music, and the mundane tune was pleasant to the ear. "That's pretty," Remus spun around and looked at Sirius with shock and horror evident on his face.

"S-Sirius! What do you want, how did you-?" realization dawned on his face and he put his head in his hands. "That Godric dammed map, I curse the day I helped you all create that!"

Sirius laughed. "Aw Moony, you don't mean that!" he looked around the room, openly curious. "I remember checking out this room when we were drawing the schematics for the map!" he said. "I've never seen it from the outside though, and you'd think such huge windows would be noticeable…"

"The windows are magic; they aren't really there," Remus explained tiredly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "What is it you want Padfoot? You didn't just follow me here to make small talk. If you're disgusted with me, just tell me, get it over with."

"We didn't finish the game Moony! We've got to keep playing," he leaned against the windows, facing his friend. "Here, we'll start over a bit. Five marks each and I'll even go first this time." Remus gave him a withering look.

"Really Padfoot, I-"

"No, it's _my_ turn Moony, not yours," he said slowly, as though explaining it to a toddler. Remus sighed and waved his hand, gesturing for him to go on. "Good. Never have I ever liked someone as much as I like Remus John Lupin." Said boy turned bright red and stared at the illegal animagus.

"Wha-what!" Sirius just smirked at him.

"C'mon Moony, do you keep that point or not? Remember, you _have_ to be honest." Remus stared at him, obviously considering something. He lifted his wand and flicked it, making five golden marks appear in the air, just as they all had earlier. Another flick made one of the marks disappear. Sirius smirked and arranged his own marks on the window. "Your move Rem."

Remus briefly considered the gravity of those words. Sirius was telling him he could back out if he wanted. Did he want to? "Never have I ever been as confused as I am right now.." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" asked Sirius, leaning forward.

"Nothing! Nothing. Never have I ever…liked..someone as much as …as much as I like Sirius Orion Black…" Sirius flushed with pleasure and smiled widely at the werewolf, making Remus' heart skip a beat. One of Sirius' points disappeared.

"Never have I ever wanted to kiss someone as badly as I want to kiss you," Sirius said. Remus turned redder.

"Does you mean _me_ or you as in you as in you?" Remus looked down to the side, refusing to make eye contact while he was so flustered.

"Let me rephrase that," Sirius pushed off the window and gently took Remus's chin in his hands, leaving the shorter boy with no choice but to look at him. "Never have I ever wanted to kiss anyone more than I want to kiss the person I'm looking at right now."

"Oh…" whispered Remus, his heart nearly coming to a complete stop and then setting up a pounding rhythm in his chest. "I see…"

Sirius stared into Remus' eyes, briefly glancing over to where Remus' point hung in the air, all four glowing brightly. His attention snapped back to the werewolf. "Remus," he said softly. "You may be a wolf but you scare like a rabbit, so I'm going to warn you that I _am_ going to kiss you right now, okay?" Remus nodded his head slightly, his chin still in Sirius's grasp. "You can stop me if you want, alright?" he nodded again, watching with wide eyes as Sirius cautiously leaned in closer, then closed them and threw his arms around the taller boys neck, bringing their lips together. It was a chaste kiss, lasting for only a minute or two, but it made fireworks explode behind Remus's eyes and made his heart fill up with warmth. They pulled apart and stared at each other a moment, Sirius smirking and Remus still blushing slightly.

"Never have I ever been happier than I am right now…" he whispered.

"Well, what do you know? Me too!" Sirius smirked mischievously. "Let's see if we can beat that within the next hour or so."

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><p>Fwahahahahaha~! Oooh that felt good. I needed to write some Marauders fluff; it's good for the soul. It really is.<p>

Speaking of Sirius getting into Remus's pants, have any of you read Once Known by Draug? It's REALLLLY good! I just read the new chapter this morning and am sorely tempted to draw fanart for it I love it so! If only my drawing skillz weren't so dismal... oh wells. Free advertising and all that, it's really good, so is the REST of her stuff! It deserves to be checked out. Like a Padfoot deserves to be HUGGED.

So yeah, originally this was a script for something my friends and I were gonna do, but the project never fell through and we started up on a different thing that is basically the same, BUT DIFFERENT. Originally Padfoot runs after Prongs and Peter so he can help abuse the rat, and Remus follows to make sure that they don't get in trouble, and there were a LOT less hints that Remus and Sirius were gay, but where's the fun in that?

In other news I LOVE playing Never Have I ever! But I usually get out somewhere around the middle... But it's still fun!

ALSO, reviews will be replied to when my EMAIL stops being a JERK and lets me CHECK IT. akhdalshfalshg.

That is all.

=3= ~Seo


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